Okay, so the FAA's pulling flights from Orlando and Tampa because...gestures wildly...gestures wildly at everything. Another government shutdown. Give me a break. And now Lakeland Linder is supposed to be the freakin' hero?
"Mitigating the Impact" - Or Profiting From It?
Kris Hallstrand, the airport director at Lakeland Linder, says they're "working closely" with Avelo Airlines to "mitigate the impact." Mitigate? Let's be real, they're scrambling to pick up the scraps. It's like watching vultures circle a dying carcass, except the carcass is the already-struggling airline industry and the vultures are...well, you get it.
Hallstrand also said they're trying to position themselves as an "alternative airport." Alternative to what? To functioning airports that don't rely on the government being a complete dumpster fire? I mean, come on.
Avelo's statement is even more hilarious: "thoughtful schedule changes that support the FAA’s efforts and minimize disruptions to customers." Right. Because that's exactly what airlines are known for: putting customers first. It's all about the bottom line, folks. Always has been, always will be.
Plus, let's not forget the TSA agents working without pay. Hallstrand says they're "phenomenal people" keeping a smile on their face. Yeah, I'm sure they're thrilled to be working for free while politicians play games. "Phenomenal" is one word for it. I can think of a few others, none of which I can print here.
The Staffing Mirage
So, Lakeland Linder's air traffic control tower is staffed by some contractor, RVA Robinson Aviation. Great. They're still getting paid, supposedly. But the TSA? Those poor souls are running on fumes and goodwill. And what happens when that goodwill runs out? Are we supposed to pat them on the back and say "thanks for your service" as they're skipping meals?
The article states that the TSA officers operate out of Tampa International Airport. But wait... so are they driving back and forth every day? Or are they permanently stationed at Lakeland Linder? And if they're stationed there, why are they paid through Tampa? Something ain't adding up.
And here's a thought: If Lakeland Linder is so ready to pick up the slack, why haven't they invested in their own TSA staffing? Or are they happy to freeload off Tampa's resources while pretending to be the responsible adult in the room?
Also, the article mentions the shutdown started October 1st. It's now November 6th. That's over a month of these folks working for free. A month! How are they paying their bills? Are they selling their plasma on the side? I'm just asking questions here, people.
Thanksgiving Travel Nightmare?
And then there's Thanksgiving. Traditionally one of the busiest travel seasons of the year. So, if the FAA cuts are still in place, what then? Are we all supposed to pile into Lakeland Linder like it's some kind of escape hatch from the apocalypse? The mental image is offcourse hilarious.
I’m picturing chaotic scenes, families fighting over the last rental car, the smell of stale coffee and desperation hanging in the air...you know, just like any other holiday travel experience, but with an extra layer of government-induced panic.
So, Lakeland's the Only Winner? I Don't Think So.
Lakeland isn't winning anything here. They're just in a slightly less terrible position than everyone else. The real winners are the politicians who caused this mess in the first place. They get to sit back and watch the rest of us squirm, all while patting themselves on the back for "standing up for their principles." Principles my ass.